Goodfellers

Richard from Ealing Greenwayers had prepared 2 missions in Pear Tree Park for the enforcers from GoodGym Ealing, Steph, Kash and Sevan on Sunday morning. Richard brought with him a second Greenwayer, Jim, who was inducted into the group and sworn to silence.

The first duty for the Goodgymers was to fell the new growth of the pyracantha hedge, which was also a feature of another task in the park 3 months ago. The aim was to keep the hedge around the cafe seating area tidy to attract a new cafe owner to the site. The spikes on the cuttings would also have a secondary use, to be piled up behind a large bush and used to roll unruly locals in, both golfers and demanding park users. This would become the first level of intimidation by the Ealing Mob.

One such group appeared during the task to ask about creating a new path around the perimeter of the park. To keep dogs and children apart, claimed the requester. Richard humoured them and gave them the contact details of a park ranger who would know how to deal with their request. Soon after the dog walker and her dog were nowhere to be seen. They'd vanished or had been vanished 🤔

Once the thorny hedge cuttings had been deposited in the hidden torture pit, Kash and Jim went on to weed the cafe seating area, while Steph and Sevan were given a mysterious task. A concrete slab sat just beyond the hedge they'd trimmed and no one knew why it was there. The pair were asked to excavate the block to find out what it was for and how big it was.

Shovels were grabbed and dirt was removed from the surface of the stone. Was it the structure to hold up a flag pole as Richard claimed or was there a more nefarious purpose? A pipe was found, so could it be a breathing hole? Steph and Sevan kept removing more dirt and widening the hole to find the edge of the slab. Maybe it was a grave stone?

Finally, one edge of the stone was found, allowing it to be prised up. Steph, Sevan and Richard were able to peer underneath. Their eyes opened wide and mouths dropped open. They immediately dropped the stone back down, not saying a word. Then, Steph decided to cover the slab with earth again.

What was under there? If they told you, you'd end up in the River Brent with a fresh pair of pyracantha filled concrete boots. Ouch!