Applied Squeezology: The Grand Finale

As I am sitting in a café in South Acton, waiting for the right time to leave for my second mission, I picture a long stretch of the A4 and Michelle in her bright red t-shirt riding on her bike towards the blue horizon. A cover of "Wonderful Life" pours slowly from the café speakers and I feel the finale of the Osterley Trilogy deserves a more epic soundtrack. Minutes are passing and the song is not coming. Neither is an inspiration.

Heck, I'd rather be running missions right now!

That's what I usually think on Friday mornings, starting work. So why not do it? I took time off this Friday afternoon to run 4.5 km to Osterley to help Mrs A, who had Alzheimer's disease and could no longer tend to her garden.

See what I'm doing here? I am fighting writer's block by recycling the opening of the first instalment of the Osterley trilogy.

I hadn't expected to take time off work again to help Mr J and Mrs A, his wife. But I found out about the dashing Michelle taking on the challenge to shred and condense old brambles I had left behind that fateful Friday. She had not only dealt with the mess (or a neat pile if you like) of my cuttings but added her own contribution to Mr J's garden waste collection last week. In her story, she implied she was planning a return to complete the tale the following week. Wait, without me? Now you know why I ended up on a mission this Friday afternoon.

Now is the time to borrow themes from Michelle's sequel but I cannot remember the details and there is no internet in the café to check them. I will need to add those later. The songs are getting more and more mellow, and so does my cappuccino.

Michelle called my name as I was running past Mr J's street which I almost missed. Three o'clock on the dot we rang the doorbell. "Oh, there's two of you!" Mr J exclaimed. "We'll do twice as much", we replied, "Maybe".

There were just two of us, but we had the Three Bears feeling when we entered. Someone had been in Mr J's garden. Michelle didn't want to take the credit for all the tidiness that unravelled in front of us. But behind the mowed grass and trimmed bushes, brambles lurked in the shadows. There was also the fragrant bay leaf tree that had been waiting for overdue pruning since my first visit. Without Michelle in the tandem, that tree would have never been trimmed. Such a dream team.

In the café, the cover of "Can't Help Falling In Love" is filling the air now. It is not the theme I am looking for, so I decide to leave. I give myself enough time to reach the location of the side story mission I dared to do today like all those greedy producers and screenwriters, working a spin-off before completing the grand trilogy.

I dove into a green waste bin and experienced a revelation. Michelle took photos and videos of that wild GoodGymming. We had such a great time. Having chopped all the brambles we could reach and giving the bay leaf tree a nice cut, we realised Mr J had asked us to prune one more bush.

I realise I left my sunglasses in the café, so I need to come back. I am still on time for the side story mission.

Michelle and I embarked on trimming the last bush, which I identified as a pear tree. Michelle was impressed with my fruit tree knowledge but the truth was that I had seen the same tree, now upright and pointing to the sky, lying on the grass under the weight of pears a month ago.

That last job marked the end of the task for Mr J. The green waste bin was full again, there were no more cuttings on the grass, and the brambles were no more.

"There is always more" - Michelle.

I ran and Michelle cycled towards A4, where we turned left. Michelle rode slowly and I increased my pace, trying to keep up. The sun, still pretty high, casted its warm rays at our backs. We carried on like that until Boston Manor Park where we decided to part. I let Michelle go ahead on the bike, her bright red t-shirt against the greyness of the A4 cycle lane getting smaller and smaller, then disappearing behind the horizon.

I feel this is the perfect ending to the trilogy. I am now at home, sitting on the sofa, and the washing machine is my soundtrack. It was the perfect ending, but you know, I did catch up with Michelle later when she stopped to answer her phone. Some trilogies just don't want to end.

There is always more.