Taking the Piss

Last week’s poem about suspicious lemonade seemed to go down well. Which is good, because this week’s litter pick found even more stuff dumped in the bushes, including several bottles of hedgerow homebrew.

Jane was back with us for another run and looking forward to a delicious, uninterrupted weekend without Rich. Because it takes all sorts to build a world, he was looking forward to going home via a plant-based Whopper.

Robert went for his trademark jazzy shorts and socks again but it wasn’t warm, so David led us out and we warmed up on the run. Destination B&M, via a roundabout route to find Laurie and Sallyann who’d walked to the river. We sent Rich up the path to check if they were there and somehow resisted the temptation to hide before he came back.

So. Much. Litter. The usual piles of McDonalds, disposable vapes and energy drinks, but there were also some vintage finds tonight. Heidi and Joe had to go halves with litter pickers to grab a huge can of GOLD WHIP gas. It was empty but there were no empty balloons around, so maybe Chelmsford’s nitrous lovers take their laughing gas straight from the can?

That wasn’t enough of a find for Andy, who came around the corner exclaiming “I’ve found a washing machine!” Bit big for a bin bag… Happily, it was only a bit of a washing machine, which had clearly been there a while judging by the amount of ivy that tied it to a tree. With some delicate kicking and Andy yanking the other end, it was freed and bagged.

We’d only managed to clear a short stretch of the car park by the time we had to leave. Everyone agreed it was the most litter we’d ever found in a pick (we ran out of bags!) and thankfully, the two dumped shopping baskets we found became bins for the heavier stuff.

Five bags and five-and-a-bit kms later, job done. Thanks everyone for coming, and see you on Saturday for parkrun. Apparently it’s Chelmsford’s birthday, so try fancy dress!